How can I not be lonely?
I try so hard to find comfort in
the ones I think are listening
and I run
and I strive
only to be left feeling like the dead of night.
You see,
this loneliness is IN me.
The more I run, the more I fail
because this loneliness has me bound up in jail.
It displays itself in the midst of a wide array of emotion
something like the ocean
with colors of greens and blues
with many depths
that are mainly skewed.
The only way out is not the way in.
But it's reaching up to take the Savior's hand.
I hear Him whisper: "My child, it won't always be this way.
While the loneliness is here now, it doesn't get the final say.
Because greater am I who is in you than the loneliness you choose to obey."
So, Jesus I lock my eyes on You.
Though I may FEEL this loneliness is in me...
the TRUTH is...
I am in You.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
But, I want You.
Jesus, do you remember when You were so real to me? And You filled my heart with such joy that I thought it may explode at any given second?
What happened?
I want to go back to that. Or move forward to that. To You. To Your joy. Your love. Your peace. You, Jesus, You. I am weary of saving face. When my face tries to pretend that my heart isn't doubting. I do a really good job of wearing a mask. But, the struggle is here and it's real. Will you come in the midst of it?
Let me collide with You again and Your grace. Let me hear the Gospel again in the shocking scandal of it all. Abba, please, capture my heart up in You. Help me to trust Your Spirit in me. To trust You with me. Right here. Right now.
Come, Lord Jesus, please come.
What happened?
I want to go back to that. Or move forward to that. To You. To Your joy. Your love. Your peace. You, Jesus, You. I am weary of saving face. When my face tries to pretend that my heart isn't doubting. I do a really good job of wearing a mask. But, the struggle is here and it's real. Will you come in the midst of it?
Let me collide with You again and Your grace. Let me hear the Gospel again in the shocking scandal of it all. Abba, please, capture my heart up in You. Help me to trust Your Spirit in me. To trust You with me. Right here. Right now.
Come, Lord Jesus, please come.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Light.
The day has been full of ups and downs.
The ups happened when I met with a good friend out of town...until I started feeling sickly. That was a bit of a down. But it was the only down. I really liked spending time with her.
The downs happened later. But, that is beside the point.
The point is. right now in this moment, I believe that I am loved by the King.
Understand, my reader, that these moments are sometimes few and far between. I've been asking for them to be closer together. Tonight, He answered. And the feelings of this love--His Love--Love Himself--is spilling into my heart like warm sunshine on a clear day.
Tomorrow, I may forget. Then, He'll remind me again. But, right now, I believe. I stand in the Light of Love, throw my head back, and rest in the arms of the One who is Forever. After all, He's the One leading this dance anyways. :)
Abba, I believe, only help my unbelief.
The ups happened when I met with a good friend out of town...until I started feeling sickly. That was a bit of a down. But it was the only down. I really liked spending time with her.
The downs happened later. But, that is beside the point.
The point is. right now in this moment, I believe that I am loved by the King.
Understand, my reader, that these moments are sometimes few and far between. I've been asking for them to be closer together. Tonight, He answered. And the feelings of this love--His Love--Love Himself--is spilling into my heart like warm sunshine on a clear day.
Tomorrow, I may forget. Then, He'll remind me again. But, right now, I believe. I stand in the Light of Love, throw my head back, and rest in the arms of the One who is Forever. After all, He's the One leading this dance anyways. :)
Abba, I believe, only help my unbelief.
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