Home.

Home.
Home.
Home.
The Ocean.
The Vastness of it all.
I'm so far away from where I want to be.
So far away from You.
So far away from Home.
Or so it seems.
I miss the way it used to be.
The warmth.
The sweet smell of cookies,
a love for cooking.
A little girl, playing in the sandbox, cuddling close with grandma.
When everything was okay.
Now I'm here
In this state of discontentment.
Which makes no sense
Because I have Everything in You.
Jesus.
Sweet King.
Be my Home.
Bigger than the Ocean,
You Are.
Hold me close, Abba.
My Desperation grows.

Jesus.

He is bigger than everything I can imagine, yet small enough to hear my faintest whisper.

He is Emmanuel, God with us, dwelt among men;  yet He is the Great I Am.

He is stronger than strong, yet able to sympathize with my weakness because He's walk through it Himself.

He is the Lord of all creation, yet still He knows every bit of me.

He is the Pursuer of raggamuffins, yet Royalty--the King of kings.

He is the Star Breathing, All Knowing, Ever Present, Grace Filled, Truth speaking, Love pouring GOD.

He is....

JESUS.

I'm going to change the world.

You read right.
I am going to change the world.
The best part of it is: it's not me at all.
It's Jesus.
Jesus is going to change the world through me.
And you...if we'll let Him.

Who's with me? Time to raise a revolution. Time to stop living like everything is so "normal" when we have such an extraordinary God.

Explosion.

I cannot sit back any longer.
I cannot claim to know the Truth when parts of my life show it a lie.
I cannot give my life to Jesus in pieces...it's all or nothing.
And it will be ALL.
Every bit.
I don't care anymore what it costs me. I don't care if my reputation is tarnished, or if people think I'm crazy. I don't care if my life is taken from me. I serve the Resurrection and the Life. How dare a fear of death be an excuse.
I'm done with mediocrity. I'm done with being lukewarm. I'm done with myself. This flesh. This wretched, corrupt pride and sin. I AM DONE for IT IS FINISHED and my King...your King...reigns.

High above it all, He reigns. Waiting for us to notice. Waiting for us to turn our faces back to Him instead of turning our backs. When we will turn? When we will learn?

He waits.

This King, who left heaven and became man. Took on flesh and became sin. Sin itself that you and I could become the Righteousness of God.

You and I...
the Righteousness of God.
What a scandal. Scandalous grace.

It has caught me up in Him and I cannot be ashamed. I will not be ashamed.

I will speak the Name of Jesus. Wielding the Sword that He is given me. I'm done with giving other things precedence and living in mediocrity. Our God is bigger, bigger than we can see. And what we can't. He is bigger. Bigger than our mouth, our feet, our hands. He is bigger than our sin. He carried it Himself and threw it in the grave to be locked away forever. I must speak of Him. I must. I cannot hold it in. He is burning in these bones. In this heart. In these hands. In this mouth.

I'm done.
I'm His.

Raise the battle cry.
The revolution has begun.

Will you join too?
Or will you run?

Well up.

There are times when I long for so many things.  The desires churn within me. Especially lately.

I long for a friend of mine to be here at LU with me. Where I want to believe she belongs, but the Lord Jesus has her on an adventure bigger than she could imagine. And it's beautiful to behold. I just wish I was beholding it from closer than 8 hours away.

Another desire that is churning is for that of a spouse. A companion. It's crazy, because I've never been in this boat before. Not like this, at least. The Lord Jesus reminds me that He wants me to feel the same way about Him that I do about the person I like, more so. He makes a great point. May I obey wholeheartedly.

I keep thinking about home. Danville. Grandma. Precious home. Sometimes I wish I could clone myself. Especially, now that there's this balancing act between wanting to see her and be home, and trying to be an adult. I'm looking for a job, and I know that when I get one here, I won't be coming home much. Even on break. Which is difficult to think. Because I love her. And I will forever. Never do I want her to believe otherwise.

All of these things slam me. I'm learning so much. And Jesus is walking with me. His proven to me over and over again that He is able to satisfy every single longing or desire I have.

...for my friend.
...for my husband.
...for my Grandma.
...for my home.

He is my Friend, my Husband, and my Home...and certainly, if He can fill the spot of my parents, He can fill the spot of my Grandma.

So, the longings well up.
And He is faithful.

Imagination.

I forget so quickly.

And I'm grateful that Jesus pursues me every moment of my forgetfulness.

There are moments when I'm completely consumed with who He is, which is exactly where I want to be. And where He wants to me. But the problem is,

These are moments.

Most of the time, I walk in my forgetfulness. Lack of desire for Him. (Or so it seems, because really, every desire for something else is really a misplaced desire for Him, because only He can fulfill it.)

Yet He pursues.

Do you know how much Jesus loves us? Stop for two minutes out of your busy day. Stop your mind from running to the gajillion things you have to do within the next hour. Stop. Just stop.

And think.
Know:
The Lord of all Creation loves you. He loves me.

Rest in His love.
That's it. Just rest.

Selah.



Even when we forget,
He still pursues.
He is love.
He understands.
We are His, He is ours. Forever and ever.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" 1 John 3:1

Light.

I sat there. High above the water. The altitude didn't bother me, He is was so there. I blinked and stared trying to shake the last remaining bits of darkness. The cool, crisp air hit my cheeks, I looked up and smiled. Now I was at the top. After a few years of struggling and valley walking, He had faithfully continued to carry me to the top of this mountain. Even when I fought Him along the way, He still held fast and tight, whispering messages of love into my ear. And so, because of Him, here I am. Looking around, on the horizon I saw the light. Oh, the Light! It's been years since this heart of mine has walked fully in the Light of Salvation Himself. I blinked, and blinked, and blinked...trying to prepare for what I knew would be a shock to the eyes of my heart because they had been in darkness so long. Nothing could prepare me for what was coming. The Light. After a few minutes, the beauty of Him exploded across the horizon of my heart. The oranges and yellows filled the sky, reflecting on the water below. I stood to my feet, barely able to contain myself. I looked at the view the Light was revealing to me. This wasn't the first time I had seen it, but it's been such a long time, it's almost as if it's the first time. On the top of this mountain, I look as He holds me, the ocean is below. I can only see the surface. He reminds me of the depths of His love, and His unfathomable faithfulness. I smiled. At Him. With Him. Oh gosh, He is so beautiful.


Selah.


Through all of this, He reminded me that soon, none of these struggles will matter. The Light that my heart saw exploding across it's horizon is only a tiny tidbit of what is to come. We will be with Him forever and ever and ever and ever. We've not even scratched the surface. There is no one like our God.


"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

Child of God, keep pressing on. He WILL be faithful to bring you up this mountain.

The Light is coming.

Established.

"In righteousness you will be established: Tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you." Isaiah 54:14


Look at this promise. Isn't it awesome? Like, just looking at it straight up at face value, it's absolutely beautiful. Jesus promises that we will be established in righteousness, and that we will have nothing to fear. This, in and of itself, is a miracle of God. When you really consider who we are, and then this promise of righteousness, it's absolutely beautiful and scandalous. So...let's dig deeper. :)

I read this today and decided that I would look up the word established. According to dictionary.com, this is the definition:

Establish-verb- 
1.) to bring into being
2.) to settle, as in a position 
3.) to cause to be accepted
4.) to prove


Okay, one at a time here...firstly...
1.) To bring into being.
The word established...to bring into being. Being established in His righteousness. His very righteousness brought us into being. Here's the proof:


"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ." Colossians 2:13

We were dead. Through His righteousness, He brought us into being. He made us alive! Crazy, right? It only gets better. Now on to number two...

2.) to settle, as in a position 
To be established in His righteousness is to be settled. When I saw the word settled, I decided I'd look it up too. I wrote down a few of the meanings in my journal. Here they are: to quiet or calm, to take up residence, to come to rest, to sink gradually. Because of His righteousness, He takes up residence in us. He calms and quiets us. He brings us rest. And you know, it may take time for it all to sink gradually in...but it will sink in. Because of what Jesus has done. Not only that, but because of the righteousness of Christ, we have a position at His table. We beggars have been invited to come to His banquet table and feast. All because of Him. And what He has done.

3.) to cause to be accepted
Because of the righteous blood of Jesus being shed on the cross, He has caused us to be ACCEPTED in the eyes of the Father! This blows my mind. Holy God, Creator God...He accepts us because of His Son, Jesus.

Last, but certainly not least (this one is my favorite...)

4.) to prove
Because of what Jesus has done, because He has provided righteousness....
Me and you....
WE HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE!
Absolutely nothing. You know why? Because Jesus has already proven everything there is to prove by His death on the cross and His resurrection.

What would happen if we lived like this was true? It is true. So, there is no like and was. The new question is:
What would happen if we live this? This Truth. Truth that is steadfast and solid. Never to be shaken. You and I are established in the righteousness of Jesus Christ (that is, if you have accepted Jesus to be your Lord and Savior). I propose that if we really believed this--everything would be different. We would learn to be totally satisfied in Him. Understanding that He is enough. More than enough. We would wait in hope for Him instead of trying to jump ahead of His plan. Everything would be different.

So stands the challenge. Will we live established in the righteousness of Christ Jesus?

Remember:
"God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21


Isn't He beautiful?

Run Path.

Hey y'all.

It's only been 8 months since I've blogged last. Haha. I just feel like writing tonight. Should I be doing homework instead? Probably so. But don't worry, I'm gonna get it done. :)

Where to begin? First off, can I just tell you how faithful Jesus is? REALLY faithful. He's so good. I must say that He is beginning to lead me down a path I don't want to go down, for several reasons. Yet, turning my feet in the direction of that path is bringing so much satisfaction. Even if I am scared out of my mind to go down said path. He keeps reminding me that He'll hold my hand. That He never leaves. Even on this path. And so, I want to run. Run down this path. He's brought so much freedom into this broken heart of mine. And because of what He has done, I WILL run after Him. Down this path. Funny, how I can want to do something so badly, yet not want to do it.

Today, my head and heart have been in a million different places. It's the eve of my 19th birthday (it's so weird to think that in about an hour and half, I'll no longer be 18). I've thought a lot today about my Mom. Sometimes I really miss her. This is one of the times when I think about her way more than usual. And, I let myself grieve all over again. Enter Jesus. Who never left in the first place. Cause He's good. And He loves. Constantly, He shows me how He has filled that place where my Mom would be. With other people. With Himself. The promise that He sets the lonely in families is so true. He is a Father to the fatherless. He is faithful to every promise He has made.

Yeah, you guys, this blog is really random. But, it feels good to write. Perhaps I'll be able to focus on my homework now. :)

Jesus is beautiful,
Miranda