I sit with Bible and journal open, and hopefully, a heart equally as so. Pen in hand. His Words whispering to my heart ripple like a rock across a pond...
---> Will you repent of your distrust?<---
I pause and wait, trying to process the words that He's spoken with His Spirit. Thoughts flood my heart and head...
To repent of distrust would mean trusting Him. You can't turn from the one without doing the other. Fear creeps in. "But Jesus", my heart inquires, "what if I trust You and You hurt me? What if I surrender all, really - all, and You forsake me?"
What if.....what if...
LIES.
The Enemy has been good at this for eons. He is the father of lies. Jesus brings Truth. The next day, in the same posture of *trying* to listen (which these days has been difficult), Jesus whispers again...
---> Will you trust Me enough to rest?<---
Again, I have to stop to take in what He said. Rest. Rest. Rest. What is that again?
It's been such a long time. Isn't that what my heart craves? And He knows it. It's more than just sleep - though, trust me, I've wanted that too.
The rest that Jesus offers is the deep, heart rest. The kind that stills this wandering heart of mine. It spills over into relationships with stability and joy. It consumes with a depth that cannot be explained. It provides peace that - literally - passes all understanding.
I'm still processing this, even as I'm repenting and reaching out to take His hand.
"This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.'" Isaiah 30:15
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I Am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Oh Jesus, let me have all of it. Let me give You free reign and lay down my burdens at Your feet. Let me obey joyfully. Please, let my heart find rest solely in You.
