Friday, July 18, 2014

Stuck Between Now and Not Yet

I am sitting on my lunch break as my fingers tip-tap across the keyboard this afternoon. There is worship music playing in my headphones and my heart is wide awake, eyes wide open to the thoughts scurrying about the season I am in.

Summer. Now.

I can honestly say that this summer has been one of the most difficult things I have ever subjected myself to willingly. Jesus has stretched me in ways that I was not anticipating and mostly, it has felt like really hard work. Why? Well, for the first time, I am dating someone and, for the summer, we are long distance. Ben (the boyfriend) is such a man of honor and man of God. He deals with my random freak outs so well and I am grateful for the grace he shows toward me.

But, even more than that, I am grateful for what Jesus is showing me here. It's hard, because I so badly want to find Him right here. Yet, my heart eagerly awaits the time when this season is over and things return to a more steady beat of normal.

Even in typing that, I have to smile and shake my head...yeah, right....normal. What I am learning now more than ever is that "normal" is not what I ever expected. Seasons of life, this one included, brings unexpected challenges and struggles. It is hard. So hard. And, it was not what I anticipated. At all.

BUT. (Don't you just love that word...) But, Jesus has been so steady through it all. The reality of the matter is that He knows me so much better than I know myself. If I were the one writing this story, I would've written it differently. I would have penciled in less struggle and made it easier. I would have plotted the storyline according to the lies culture has told me about romance and dating. I would have lost my way in the process.

Praise God, I am not the one writing the story. But I certainly know the One who is.

Jesus.

He only gives good gifts. He only leads sovereignly. He gives what we need. This King, sweet Jesus, has known me since before I existed. He knew about this season. He knew the struggle it would bring. And, He know that I would find Him faithful here. Right between the Now....and the Not Yet. Right here when He whispers: "Wait" to my longing heart yet again. Right here as He shows me that He is worthy of trust.

See, the point of this story is not for my (or your) comfort. It is for His glory. It is to be more like Him...transforming into His image...glory to glory.

Praise God. The King is faithful. Jesus will finish what He started.

 "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

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