Winds of Change & Joyfully Learning to Dance

Hi Friends,

What an adventure this summer has been...Jesus is so faithful. The window of free time, days at the pool, and sleeping in is quickly coming to an end. But, you know what? Jesus is going to be faithful on busy work days filled with sunrise drives to school and homework just like He is right now. Isn't that encouraging?

Selah.

So much is changing. This year feels really weird right now because of the change. I'm living off campus this year, which is something I never thought I'd do (Not that I'm bashing it...I just didn't see myself doing it). But Jesus had other plans. Next month, this body that Jesus gave me is gonna turn 20. For some reason, this is causing a miniature identity crisis. I've really had to go to Lord with this a lot. There's a new desire (perhaps not new...just stronger) to have a mate...a spouse eventually. It's weird. Really it is.

The winds of change are blowing....
The Spirit of God is blowing...
and He beckons you and me...
Can you hear Him?
"May I have this dance?"
He holds out His hand..
I stop with some apprehension and what ifs...
I hear myself say: "What if He sees me for what I really am? What if the dirt from my clothes gets on His brillant, white robe?"
I step back...
He comes toward me..
Hand still extended...
It's when I see the scar that He reminds me...
He took on my dirt..
So I could dance with Him.
And I reach out...
and we begin to spin and swirl.
He's takes me deeper...
as we dance, He teaches me trust...
He shows me love...
He removes the fear...
He washes me with grace...
The wind blows.
And we dance.

There is no one like Jesus. No one.
The adventure continues.
Dance on.

1:54 AM & Jesus.

It's late. Or is it early? I'm not sure. But it doesn't matter...cause Jesus is here. And He's outside of time.

Tonight I find myself absolutely floored by the sheer amount and intensity of the grace the He so freely lavishes on me and ragamuffins like me. For crying out loud, HE is the KING of the UNIVERSE. Tonight I wrote to Him and said that His ocean was full of so much grace that He could fill like a thousand planets. That's about as big as my brain can comprehend...who am I kidding, it doesn't even comprehend that. Oh, His grace. His grace. His grace. His grace. It never gets old. It never runs out. It never stops gently tearing apart these things in me that don't belong. It never stops ferociously drowning me with a hope and boldness and tenacity I don't understand. He (Jesus and grace are synonymous...He IS Grace!!!) never quits the pursuit of this wandering heart. He never stops conforming me into His image.

This King. He holds all things together. You and me. The smallest cells. The biggest galaxy. He's got it in the palm of His hand. THE PALM!!! And our names are written there too. :)

This King. The King of glory. Came to be mutilated on the cross for our redemption. But, it was impossible for death to keep it's hold on Him. So now He lives. Forever exalted. Forever praised.

Oh, He is good. He is glorious. He is worthy. He is holy.

Let's surrender to Him....

let's dance with Him...

let's get lost in Him...

Oh, for grace to trust You more.

Draw me in.

Jesus, today I'm so grateful that You remain so steadfastly faithful. You never let me go. In the midst of my weariness and sickness, it still pleases You to come to my side and scoop me up into Your arms. Despite my sin and lack of energy (only because I've been leaning on my own), You come with an invitation. "Come! It doesn't matter that you don't have money...come, buy and eat! Listen, listen to Me, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." Oh Jesus, how I long for my delight to be in You again. The truth is, I need You more than I need water or air. I need Your grace to so saturate me that all I can do is spread it all over the place because of Your tendency to be abundant in Your grace giving. Hallelujah for that! Come, Jesus. Heal my heart. I am forever Yours. In Your very powerful Name,...amen.

Home.

Home.
Home.
Home.
The Ocean.
The Vastness of it all.
I'm so far away from where I want to be.
So far away from You.
So far away from Home.
Or so it seems.
I miss the way it used to be.
The warmth.
The sweet smell of cookies,
a love for cooking.
A little girl, playing in the sandbox, cuddling close with grandma.
When everything was okay.
Now I'm here
In this state of discontentment.
Which makes no sense
Because I have Everything in You.
Jesus.
Sweet King.
Be my Home.
Bigger than the Ocean,
You Are.
Hold me close, Abba.
My Desperation grows.

Jesus.

He is bigger than everything I can imagine, yet small enough to hear my faintest whisper.

He is Emmanuel, God with us, dwelt among men;  yet He is the Great I Am.

He is stronger than strong, yet able to sympathize with my weakness because He's walk through it Himself.

He is the Lord of all creation, yet still He knows every bit of me.

He is the Pursuer of raggamuffins, yet Royalty--the King of kings.

He is the Star Breathing, All Knowing, Ever Present, Grace Filled, Truth speaking, Love pouring GOD.

He is....

JESUS.

I'm going to change the world.

You read right.
I am going to change the world.
The best part of it is: it's not me at all.
It's Jesus.
Jesus is going to change the world through me.
And you...if we'll let Him.

Who's with me? Time to raise a revolution. Time to stop living like everything is so "normal" when we have such an extraordinary God.

Explosion.

I cannot sit back any longer.
I cannot claim to know the Truth when parts of my life show it a lie.
I cannot give my life to Jesus in pieces...it's all or nothing.
And it will be ALL.
Every bit.
I don't care anymore what it costs me. I don't care if my reputation is tarnished, or if people think I'm crazy. I don't care if my life is taken from me. I serve the Resurrection and the Life. How dare a fear of death be an excuse.
I'm done with mediocrity. I'm done with being lukewarm. I'm done with myself. This flesh. This wretched, corrupt pride and sin. I AM DONE for IT IS FINISHED and my King...your King...reigns.

High above it all, He reigns. Waiting for us to notice. Waiting for us to turn our faces back to Him instead of turning our backs. When we will turn? When we will learn?

He waits.

This King, who left heaven and became man. Took on flesh and became sin. Sin itself that you and I could become the Righteousness of God.

You and I...
the Righteousness of God.
What a scandal. Scandalous grace.

It has caught me up in Him and I cannot be ashamed. I will not be ashamed.

I will speak the Name of Jesus. Wielding the Sword that He is given me. I'm done with giving other things precedence and living in mediocrity. Our God is bigger, bigger than we can see. And what we can't. He is bigger. Bigger than our mouth, our feet, our hands. He is bigger than our sin. He carried it Himself and threw it in the grave to be locked away forever. I must speak of Him. I must. I cannot hold it in. He is burning in these bones. In this heart. In these hands. In this mouth.

I'm done.
I'm His.

Raise the battle cry.
The revolution has begun.

Will you join too?
Or will you run?